Vacation
by Matt Magnet
Summary: Sorry that
1. Default Chapter Title

Vacation: Part 1

** **

"So what's new in your genius class, Malcolm?" Lois asked as she set a plate of steaming pancakes in front of her son.

"Nothing much. Caroline is entering us in some writing contest," said Malcolm. He dumped maple syrup over his pancakes and took a huge bite of the delicious food. 

"I can't believe Caroline is always you guys in those stupid contests. It's not like you get anything good if you win," Reese gulped down his glass of orange juice in one sip, and went into his room to get his backpack.

"What kind of contest is it, son?" Hal questioned from behind the newspaper he was reading.

"Creative writing about family. It was pretty ludicrous." Malcolm stood up and put his plate into the sink.

"Ludicrous? That's such a big word! I bet you won first prize!" exclaimed Lois. She turned to Dewey, "Honey, don't put your pancakes down your pants."

"Darn!" said Dewey. He stalked despondently into his room.

"So what do you get if you win?" inquired Hal.

"A first class trip to the Caribbean for 2 weeks," Malcolm announced.

"First class to the Caribbean? I've always wanted to go there. Wouldn't it be wonderful if you won?" Lois sighed blissfully.

"Yeah, well it doesn't matter. It's not like I'm going to win." Finished with his breakfast, Malcolm retrieved his backpack, and headed off to school.

When Malcolm walked into class, his teacher Caroline was beaming at him joyfully. The rest of the class appeared to be very angry, and were giving him dirty looks. Caroline cleared her throat and quieted her students.

"I have some very good for you, Malcolm," she smiled, "You won first prize in the creative writing contest! You and your family are going to the Caribbean! Unfortunately, you're going to have to miss some class while you're on your trip."

"I won? Really? And I get to- I mean _have to _miss class? This is amazing!" babbled Malcolm gleefully.

Malcolm spent the rest of the day completely out of it. He couldn't believe that for once in his life, he was actually lucky. During recess, he suddenly thought of something, and ran over to Caroline.

"Caroline? How many people can I take with me?" he asked.

"Your whole family," Caroline answered.

"Everyone? Even Francis?" 

"Yes, of course." 

Grinning from ear to ear, Malcolm walked off to find Reese and Dewey so that he could them the wonderful news. According to Caroline, they would be leaving in 2 days. Malcolm gave a giant sigh of contentment.

The next 2 days passed extremely quickly. Before they knew it, Hal, Lois, Francis, Reese, Dewey, and Malcolm were inside the plane, on their way to paradise.


	2. Default Chapter Title

Vacation: Part 2

** **

Hal, Lois, Francis, Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey stepped of the plane and looked around themselves. The sky was a brilliant, cloudless blue. Palm trees stretched as far as the eye could see. The scent of tropical flowers filled the air. 

"Look! It's the ocean!" Dewey exclaimed. "I wanna go swimming!"

"We can go to the beach as soon as we get to the hotel and unpack," said Lois. The family piled into a van and drove over the fancy hotel that had been booked for them.

"Welcome to the Hogwarts Hotel. I hope you enjoy your stay here," a bellboy proclaimed as he loaded their luggage onto a cart and wheeled it into an incredibly elegant, lavish, swanky suite.

An hour later, the family was sitting on the beach in their bathing suits. Francis immediately moved his towel so that he was away from his parents, and then proceeded to look for girls. Reese, Malcolm and Dewey raced into the water.

"Oh, this is heaven," moaned Lois happily. 

"There's only one thing that could this better," replied Hal.

"What's that?" Before the words had completely gotten out of Lois's mouth, Hal was kissing her. The happy couple made out on the beach, oblivious to anything going on around them.

Francis spotted a beautiful brown haired girl a few feet away. He got up and walked over to her. 

"Hi, I'm Lily," the girl grinned.

"I'm Francis. Would you like some company?" Francis asked.

"I'd love some." Lily patted the spot next to her. Within a few minutes, Francis and Lily were making out, as were Hal and Lois.

Dewey, who found his swim trunks confining, had taken them off while he was in water. Dewey wandered butt naked and very happy around the beach. 

Reese and Malcolm bodysurfed the afternoon away. When it began to grow dark, they came out of the water, and looked away for their parents. The two brothers found Dewey and made him put his trunks back on. 

Reese, Malcolm and Dewey found Francis making out with a girl. They also saw that Hal and Lois had spent the entire day kissing. 

"Well this is just great," Malcolm said. "What are we gonna do? Mom and Dad have the hotel keys, so we can't go back. And we don't have any money, so we can't buy anything. This sucks."

"Hey, I have an idea!" mused Reese.

"What?" Malcolm asked him.

"While we were walking here, I saw this totally bitchin' night club across the street! We could go there!"

"Reese, have you forgotten that we're too young to get in?" Malcolm exhaled noisily. 

"Dewey can distract the guard, and we'll sneak in."

"Well, there's nothing else to do." Malcolm put on his shirt, and he and Dewey followed Reese.

The nightclub, which was called the Morgan, was lit up with hundreds of fluorescent lights, which poured out onto the street from inside. The boys could hear loud music and loud voices coming out from the club.

The boys walked towards the door, and sent Dewey over to the guard. "I'm lost!" Dewey shrieked to the doorman. His eyes were full of fake tears, and the doorman felt his heart breaking. He bent down to comfort Dewey, and Reese and Malcolm slipped into the Morgan.

"Whoa, this is awesome!" cried Malcolm, gazing at all the liquor and dancing bodies.

"It sure is," replied a deep, unfamiliar voice. Reese and Malcolm turned around to face a gigantic, heavyset guard.

The next thing they knew, the guard was hauling Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey back onto the beach, and was talking to Hal and Lois about the horrible crime they had committed. 

Unfortunately, one of the hotel workers heard the guard yelling at Hal and Lois. The hotel worker reported to his boss, and the boss decided that he didn't want people like them staying in his hotel.

The next day, Hal, Lois, Francis, Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey were on a plane back to their home.

"Well, I hope you're happy!" yelled Lois to her sons. "You're grounded for life!"

Reese turned to Malcolm. "As long as we're already in trouble, lets have some fun! I have a great idea!"

"Reese, whatever it is, don't do it," Malcolm replied.

A few minutes later, Reese stood up and yelled, "I have a bomb! Give me 10 million dollars or everybody dies!"

Within an hour, the plane had taken a detour, and had arrived in Dallas, Texas. Hal, Lois, Francis, Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey were escorted off the plane, and were banned from the airline.

"Now how are gonna get home?" Lois muttered angrily.

Later that day, the family finally managed to find a way to get home. They had hitched a ride with a farmer, and were sitting in the back of a pick up truck, surrounded by chickens.

"I hope you're happy, boys!" growled Lois, spitting feathers out of her mouth.

"I am. That was so much fun! When can we go back?" Reese asked.


End file.
